Welcome To The Jungle

(This was written after on the second week of June, just found the time to post it.)

I am deeply sorry to have kept my five faithful readers painstakingly wait for my next entry to be published. There have been days when I seem to be filled with so much inspiration to write about almost anything...yet too lazy to actually write them. Not to mention the fact that I follow a daily routine which others may hardly even call it a life, so I'd have to file all kinds of ideas in the backburner until I find the time to write about them.

This past weekend, I decided to join my friends in going to this gay club I haven't been to. Well, I've been to clubs and strip joints before but I seem not to have much fun as I intended to for various reasons (not enough funds, the place is TOO boring I couldn't even feign enjoyment, etc.) for the longest time, they have been asking me to go with them there, saying "You're not that old to act as if you live in a nursing home!" ( I am 25 years old, thank you very much, yet inside I feel a lot older. Not wiser or more mature than my peers, just older.) Since the joint they were referring to was celebrating its second anniversary, and Tyra (my fashionably fabulous friend/housemate) was on the guest list, availing herself and two guests free entrance and drinks, I figured it wasn't such a bad idea to revisit my "wild child" days, even for just a night. (Yeah, right. Had to miss work that night and was praying that it was worth the trouble.) Too bad, my friend Morfino couldn't come with us (He decided to be an all-star athlete earlier that day in their company sportsfest. Unfortunately, he brought home wounds and scratches instead of medals). Since Banshee (my housemate who is so loud-mouthed, he could melt your earwax once he opens his mouth) was meeting a friend there, he came along with us.

So on we went to Malate. Nothing much has changed since the last time I was there. Same old establishments (except for some who had name changes; probably to fool people into thinking it wasn't the same trashy place they used to go to), same old people (predominantly gay, a few heterosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, metrosexuals...in short, all kinds of sexual people, ha ha!)

As we neared the place, I had apprehensions of seeing people I no longer wanted to meet (i.e. people I used to do hanky-panky with, people whom I thought I had a chance to have a relationship with yet got viciously cut short for some reason, or people I simply disliked). Fate seemd to be very playful that night because the first person I met was a common "friend" who eventually had his ego overblown by the number of guys he had sex with (Sure, I've had my share of sexcapades and have never been competitive about it. But for him to say to comment once on my sex life, "It's the quality, not the quantity"? Que ganda!) I hate being caught in such situations; I wanted him to disappear. The better side of me made me give a very faint smile and a nod of acknowledgment; I was rewarded with a beso. I am not letting this incident spoil my night.

Then we proceeded to enter the joint, open bar, beads hanging from the ceiling, Queer as Folk playing on the television monitors, great disco light and dance music, and a few good-looking people, too. They also had topless waiteers and go-go boys who either probably lived in the gym or used to do hard labor as a profession prior to their latest job. wish they looked as good as their sumptuous bodies but guess we can't have everything, can we? Nonetheless, I was impressed.

Since Tyra and Banshee had friends in the place, I was left by my lonesome for some time. I wasn't complaining though, it gave me the chance to check the other people out. Not that I was planning to get me some that night, it just made me think: Why were these people here? Were they here to have fun with friends, have a few drinks, meet a few guys and dance the night away? Or, were they here to be part of a modern-day jungle acting as sexual predators and preys? The scene before could have put the sexually liberated, ancient Greeks to shame. Almost everybody was showing off their toned bodies through body-hugging shirts (and took off soon as the place got so packed that the dance floor looked like an overcrowded fishbowl). Lingering looks, gyrating bodies, drinks overflowing, strangers kissing, hands groping somebody else's crotch -- the perfect debauchery. I wouldn't be the least shocked if Bacchus was the night's guest of honor.

I guess the reason why I'm asking thes is because I really didn't explore this world, when I was younger which would make me appear naive. Whenever I went to a nightout, it was always with mostly heterosexual people. It was only a few years ago that I started hangign out with gay friends and I got to witness the gay nightlife and consequently embracing a different type of lifestyle. Then I got initiated to the sexual cyberworld -- hooking up online with guys I barely knew where everybody was imbued with the power of anonymity -- you could introduce yourself as a totally different person in order to attract someone and obtain sexual favors. I was at this for years, thinking I was already a pro in casual sex. Was I so wrong.


I had a couple of drinks and was dancing in my space until the place turned into a sea of humanity; I felt like a fish desperately gasping for air. Tyra must have felt the same because when she told me that she felt like going home, I immediately agreed and proceeded to find the exit. Perhaps it was from the glasses of vodka that made me tipsy, which made me realize that this was no longer my scene. No, I did not go home with a bruised ego because nobody hit on me; maybe I just do not have the energy for the nightlife anymore. As for sex, my appetite towards it has definitely declined. I'm no longer the sexual dynamo I used to be.


To finally cap my evening, something happened. On the way out, Tyra and I got separated. Thinking she was out ahead of me, I looked around as soon as I stepped out to see if she was waiting for me. Then somebody called me...it was Soulmate #9, a guy I went out with a couple of times until he found a boyfriend for himself. I was so caught off-guard that when i tried to make small talk to fill in the awkward gaps of silence, I told him, "It's my first time here, I'm too old for this." So stupid, how bowled over could I get?

The White Party ( a street party celebrating Gay Pride) is scheduled in a few weeks. I'm not quite sure if I want to join the safari or if the time has arrived for the leader of the pack to finally strike it on his own.

P.S. I did go to the White Party, BAH!